The last first day

I’m about to start my first day of college. Well, my last first day of college. My final year.
How old am I supposed to feel? Because I feel old. It seems like just yesterday I was starting high school. All excited with a new atmosphere. A new step towards adulthood. And making new friends.

Now, I just wish I could go back and re-do high school with the knowledge I have now. I would have studied a lot harder my Sophomore, Junior, and Senior year. I probably would have taken more English classes. Read more. Reached out to more people. I would have chosen to not smoke weed my Sophomore year, so then I wouldn’t have gotten suspended from school for 15 days. I would have chosen to play guitar more. To eat less.

Granted, if I could re-do this part of my life, my world now would be significantly different. I probably would have different friends then (and now). I probably wouldn’t have chosen to attend church. Which means I wouldn’t be at UWGB. I wouldn’t have met Cynthia, all the Abby(s), Maria, Carrie, Andrea, Skyler, Ashley, Danielle, Scott, Kim, Brigitta, Hailey, Lacey, Rosie, Faith, Emily, and all the other many friends I have made. And I wouldn’t trade the connections I’ve made for any others.

So as I start my final year of college, I have to be fully on board with where life and God will take me. Am I to be here in Green Bay after college, or am I to go home. Maybe I’m supposed to be somewhere else. I don’t know, but God knows. I’m excited.

When I first started college, which was 3 years ago, I had high hopes. I would be someone different, someone with a boldness to talk to others, not this flimsy shy girl who didn’t speak much in high school. I would be someone who wasn’t afraid to express who I was. A girl who chooses to wear skirts and not cut my hair. I would be someone who took her studies seriously, and I really did. I would do my homework. I think I watched TV like 6 times the entire school year. I would force myself in bed by 11. I was a good parent to myself (Now, not so much).

It’s a bittersweet feeling. Because in a year, I won’t be in college. I may or may not be talking to some of my friends. At the same time, I’m ready to finish this chapter of my life. Move on to bigger and better places. As I start and end my last first day of college, I pray my hopes stay high. That I am not easily discouraged when I find a class difficult. And that I can make one new friend each semester.

I hope that I enjoy my last first day of college, because our days are numbered. And I won’t ever get this day back.
Can I get a word, Son?


Author: Angellus1325

I'm a little weird. I'm sad I didn't get to take advantage of being a kid in the 90's. But I'm a big believer in Jesus.

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