I click the “attach file” button in my email, and scroll through my Word Documents until I get to my “Resume” file. Click. Upload. Then I add my cover letter. As I type up a short email, jitters shiver through my hands and into my heart. I hesitate before pressing the send button, quickly re-checking for spelling and grammar errors for the millionth time. Then with a click of the mouse, I send in what would be my first resume for a post-graduation job.
I’ve mentally prepared for this exact moment for months, perhaps even a few years. I was procrastinating the actual work up until a few weeks prior. It all started when I attended a Graduation Resource Fair, and it hit me, “Hey, I graduate in a month. I needed to start applying for jobs months ago.” See, I’ve been so caught up in this semester, that it went by much faster than I anticipated. One day it was January 25, the next it’s all of a sudden May 1. Where did the time go? It practically slipped out of my hands.
That email with my resume and cover letter was for a Social Media Internship at Equity Cooperative. It sounded like a great opportunity, even if it was simply a summer job, because it was a stepping stone towards what I want to do as a career. So for the past week as I gnawed my fingernails down to bits, and picked my cuticles down to bare tissue, I was a little disappointed to receive an email from the director of human resources:
“Thank you again for your interest…we are proceeding with another applicant at this time…”
Then tonight, as I told Bethany, my dear youth leader and basically my mentor, I was reminded that I’m not in control. Bethany told me, “I prayed that if it wasn’t meant to be that God would close that door.” Sometimes, I wonder if she realizes how inspirational she is. Sometimes I wonder why I was so blessed to have her in my life. But I know that people are put in my path for a certain reason, whether it be for my sake or for their sake, or for even both of our sake.
As Mark Batterson wrote, “If you keep in step with the Spirit, God is going to make sure you get to where He wants you to go” (In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, pg 30). I realized that despite my disappointment in not receiving this opportunity, I know that it means there is one open door that I’m supposed to walk through. It’s not always about me, and what I want, it’s about what He wants and where He plans to put me. I may not know what lies ahead, but I do know that I have a God that will provide, and that’s enough for me.