Chief Adventures: Hiking the Hike

Heavy breathing. Aching limbs. Sweat kissing my red face. I accomplished Devil’s Lake today (with Chief). It was hard, but strangely, not as hard for me as it has been in the past. Let me tell you though, I’m wore out. And Chief? Yeah he’s crashed out on the floor snoozing away. But I feel so much better mentally and physically; I feel like I really  accomplished something.

“Lately, despite the malicious mosquitoes, I have been really encouraged to go on long walks at Mirror Lake…”

Lately, despite the malicious mosquitoes (yey bug spray!!), I have been really encouraged to go on long walks at Mirror Lake, a state park that’s fairly close to my home, with Chief. Today with the light breeze trickling through the rays of sunshine, I figured that Devil’s Lake would be fantastic. It took me over an hour to follow the hiking path, but, let me tell you, I was rather proud of myself.

Much like I was doing two years, I really want to embark on a weight loss journey (yes, again). Someone cue the “oooo.” But, I really want to focus on the exercising portion as much as the eating portion. I’ve been on this natural high when I go walking around the trails, which honestly makes me feel invincible! I feel like I could run 5 miles (just kidding…I’d die…). The feeling is almost indescribable, except for that natural high.

Posing at Mirror Lake

As far as the food part, I’m starting out small    nothing to drastic (at first).  My thoughts on food intake is just watching calories and carbs. I don’t think these minor things are going to make a HUGE impact physically…maybe. But in my best opinion, it’s going to prep me for those drastic changes that I know I will partake later on. Fret not, my friends Luke* and Nick* are my biggest encouragers, and I know that they won’t let me get too crazy and out of hand with a diet (Luke is taking his own healthy journey; Nick has taken on the Keto diet and lost several inches and weight). Of course, Chief will benefit greatly from all the walks, and he’s always there faithfully pushing me forward (I’m blessed with a good dog).

Here’s a good inspirational-ish quote from a 2009 documentary I recently watched called “Facing the Fat.” It’s fairly intriguing     I recommend watching it!

“When you feel disgusted…it’s time to do something.”     Kenny Saylors

I feel disgusting with my current lifestyle. I feel mentally and physically drained ALL the time. But I’ll keep pushing forward, red face, heavy breathing, tired legs, and all.

“Today with the light breeze trickling through the rays of sunshine, I figured that Devil’s Lake would be fantastic.”

Numbers Don’t Define You

“Hey, head to the training room.” I hear my manager say to me and a few others. “This will be interesting,” I think. So I head over to the room. For the next half hour or so we go over some numbers and look at the top three employees. Then we were handed a piece of paper with our stats on them, and…well let’s just say I’m not as high as I wish I could be, and I felt super frustrated. Not with my manager, or my job. But with myself. My chest got heavy. I couldn’t breathe normally, only in short breaths. I had to fight back tears. “Don’t let these numbers discourage you,” I heard my manager say, but it sounded muffled as I slowly began to feel the sinking motion of me being pulled underneath the current of discouragement. I felt frustrated with myself because I knew I could be better and that although I thought I was improving fairly drastically, the numbers showed me I barely was.

I’ve been really hard on myself the past few months on my stats. I’ve really pushed myself to lower the amount of “wrap up” time (this is how much time I spend after I take a phone call doing notes and such). I’ve also really worked on making the length of my call as short as possible, and tried to learn the secrets of the top employees on making more reservations. We all have our good days and bad days. I mostly have good days, but the past week I’ve really been having a difficult time. I’ve recently found out a few of my friends from work (okay the only ones I really hang out with outside of work) are moving on to better places. I’m a little off because of it, not because I’m not happy for them, I am, but because of selfish reasons. I don’t know what I’m going to do now at work or even after work for that matter. I feel like I just want to find my own little cubicle in the corner away from everyone so I can avoid them, but I can’t do that, that’s just silly. In due time, I”m sure I’ll learn how to branch out and make new friends at work.

About a month or so ago, I started “dieting.” And by dieting, I mean I started watching my carb intake. I wanted to cut carbs completely out, but realized maybe I shouldn’t eat as much, ya know just kind of watch what I’m eating. All fine and dandy, and I have a good friend who is actually doing the same thing. When we’ve gone out to eat, if one of us wants to not eat something without carbs (or low carbs) then the other will follow. Which is nice and motivational. We’ve also planned times of walking around after work playing our games. Granted, he’s more motivated than I am to actually work out on top of it (once it gets warmer I’ll start walking more outside…I don’t like gyms). I don’t know how much or if I’ve lost weight, because I’m not doing it for weight, I’m doing it for inches.

Can I just say now, after alllllll that rambling, that numbers do not define who you are. Let me repeat it, because I need constant reassurance and I’m sure many of you do too, NUMBERS DO NOT DEFINE YOU OR YOUR WORTH! Those numbers I was given at work don’t make me a bad employee, they just show that I need to work really hard to improve myself. Which yes, it will be super hard, yes I’ll probably cry…a lot! But everyone has to hit rock bottom before they can swim towards the top. Now I’m not saying I’ll ever be top dog, I know the top three people and they are really good at their job and one of them has been with the company for years. But my goal is to improve, and that’s pretty good.

That number on the scale or the inch around my waist doesn’t define whether I’m a good or bad person. People always associate larger numbers as unhealthy, and smaller numbers as healthy. I know many, many men and women who are deemed “perfect body size” and they are actually quite unhealthy. Like not only underweight unhealthy, but also in what and how they eat. I also know several folks who are “apple shaped” and are actually extremely healthy, in fact I know one woman who is larger and actually does yoga and is very flexible. It’s tiring to hear that one’s health status is defined by the size of their shirt or pants or skirt. It’s tiring to hear and see everywhere in the media that a woman should be the “perfect” size with their size zero and 32C cup.

NUMBERS DON’T DEFINE WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON. So don’t be discouraged by that number on the scale. Be encouraged by who you want to be      no matter what size. Don’t be like me and get easily discouraged when you’re given stats on how “well you are performing your job,” but be encouraged that you for one have a job, and two that you’re growing at your own pace. Goodnesss, sometimes I feel so hypocritical because it’s easier for me to encourage others and tear myself down in the process. In the end, none of us are perfect. So why not be imperfectly perfect?